


Fair Game

by purplearrow



Category: Thor (Movies)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Darcy Lewis Feels, Emotional Manipulation, F/M, Forgiveness, Hurt/Comfort, Jötunn Loki, Loki Angst, Loki Feels, Loki Redemption, Possessive Loki, Trust Issues, Unplanned Pregnancy, Unreliable Narrator, Unrequited Love, because why not, if you squint really hard - Freeform, it's all messed up, learning to love again, this author is not sorry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-23
Updated: 2015-12-23
Packaged: 2018-04-02 07:32:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 14,216
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4051615
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/purplearrow/pseuds/purplearrow
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Darcy Lewis knows she fell in love with the wrong God and all logic is telling her to run the other way. However, there is nothing fair about the game Loki plays with her and he always has the upper hand. Thanos will learn that as well when he tries to take what does not belong to him.  The God of Chaos will find redemption through his mortal.</p><p>Yet will she forgive him when it's all said and done?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Fair Game

**Author's Note:**

> re-work of original, edited, cleaned up and a bit more fluid. little less angst - not much, but a little less.

**If your goal was to love. You scored an epic miss - Sia**

 

 

 

Darcy Lewis was no idiot when she took in Loki. She knew very well he was the one who sent the destroy to kill Thor in New Mexico - yet she cleaned his wounds after he fell from the bi-frost like he was an abused animal who was only lashing out because he was scared.

 

She wants to scream at the sight of him at the foot of her bed holding out his hand for her but she doesn’t take it. Just stays wide-eyed and his for the taking. His green eyes are no less manic than the battlefield when he tried to bring New York to its knees hours ago.  Her brain tells her she needs to fight him this time, reach for the taser on the nightstand but she never touches it.

In a second, her backside meets an unforgiving wall next to her bedroom door. Magic encasing her, trapping her fragile limbs with no room to escape.

 

_“You should have run Darcy, far away from me!”_

 

“Idiotic little mortal, nothing but a plaything. But one I do love.” his voice is cruel but her hate for him now is crueler. "You call this love?!" she sneers at him.

"Do you foolish mortals not call this love? I have come back, for you." he mocks her, his steps are heavy, the wooden floors moan under the pressure. He smells of blood and smoke, no longer winter and leather.

"Well, this is an epic miss on your part. This is not love." those lush lips taunt him. His magic presses harder against her,  he watches as she struggles to breathe now.

“Loki stop it! You ar…. killi me!” she cries out to him in broken words but he is relentless. Not until he invades her space, cages her in, has his long fingers that once brought her ecstasy wrapping around her throat that the pressure against her body disappears.   

Gulping in the air the red flush starts to leave her face. Her feet don’t touch the floor, his thumb rests under her chin, keeping her jaw shut as the rest of his fingers dig into the base of her neck behind her ear.

Her delicate pulse, that succulent column he once lavished while filling her is completely avoided on purpose to prove a point.

 

“I could kill you, Darcy. So easily. With magic, with my sheer strength. I am no Thor, but trust me I am of strength far greater than you can imagine.” Loki tells her, his lips moving next to hers.

Darcy's fight to survive kicks in, she reacts, her leg comes up as she knees him but his free hand palms her knee back down. Smashes that leg back against the wall. His hand doesn’t leave her leg though, he lets it slide up her inner thighs midway.

His favorite part, too many times he has left bruises there. Imprints of his teeth as she willingly let him, begged him.

“Yet here I am, not killing you. Instead, I offer your my hand that you so willingly took into your body. But you deny me now?”

“Because you are not supposed to be here! I saw it on tv … Thor took you away!” She cries at him.

“You are more concerned of me being here that you are ignoring the part where I tried to enslave your world, killed your people without remorse and turned your friend, the good Doctor, into my mindless puppet.”

“It wasn’t you. Not my Loki.” Darcy argues back but part of her knows it’s too late. The Loki she knew is gone. This is not the Loki she took into her home, into her bed.

“You truly are stupid and I thought Thor to be a witless oath.”

“Go ahead, insult me, you don't terrify me.”

“But I should, sweet little Darcy.”

 

“Where did you go? You were gone … three weeks.. and then you come back as some batshit crazy person. What happened to you?!” she fights against his hold, he squeezes tighter and she shuts her eyes tight.

“I am a benevolent God and you are nothing but a whore to fill a sole purpose. That is what happened.You simply are a tool for me to use and I will use you one more time.”

“Fuck you!” her lungs scream at him, tears pool in the corner of her eyes as they fly open with rage at him.

“Cry for me, Darcy.”

“Media is right, you are a monster.”

“And what does that make you? Traitorous whore or do you prefer greedy immoral whore who thought fucking the fallen brother of Thor would make her feel better about her place in life? Show Jane, she too can spread -

“Shut up!” her sobs now cut off his words, rivers run down her cheeks.

“Oh, I like this. Well, I believe it’s time for you to say goodbye to your precious world.”  

“Fine kill me. Prove them right. Become everything you hate that Asgard calls you.”  

 

_Should have never told you my secrets. I was too weak around you but not anymore. Now you get nothing from me, stupid little Darcy._

 

“I think not, you are my ticket to freedom. I will not face death, instead, I will be spared because you foolishly spread your legs for a monster with pure eagerness. And how could I have disobeyed Thanos with your life in the balance.” a malicious smile spreads his lips as Darcy watches in horror, reality sinking in at this new lie of his.

“I will not be your toy!” she fights back, fingers, nails, digging into his hand to get out his hold.

“No, you are wrong.. YOU ARE MINE! I will take everything from you!” he is losing control, his voice cracks and that thumb slips over her pulse.  She is now frantic to breathe again and when she kicks him his eyes become wide. Dropping her like she is a wildfire.

Soon as she hits the floor, she covers her neck from him while dry coughing. Never has she been so afraid of him,  never has he lost control before against her.

 

_I’m sorry … I’m sorry…. you can't leave me..._

 

Darcy knew he embodied chaos but never had she felt it against her so violently. She always toyed with him and laughed at his threats in bed but now they are real and very much alive against her skin.

“Make no mistake Darcy, I could eat you alive and not think twice. But you will play your part and you will set me free. Just like you always promised.  - ‘Loki … please.. just let me in. Let me set you free because here there are no shadows between us.’ -  remember your words to me little mortal.”

That past moment settles in her brain, kicks her in the gut. It was the first time she let him have her. Gave him everything that night. He was her first and he was gentle, he was rough, he was everything she needed and wanted.

 

“Darcy,” he says her name, it’s somewhat soft and she looks up at him against her nature to survive and all common sense. Wet eyes look back down at her, no tears, just glass eyes, and a numb face. Like he pulled the mask off and everything from the moment he was at the foot of her bed was an illusion.

“I need you to play one last time.” voice now desperate and she sees the fear in his eyes.

“What are you not telling me Loki?”

“I need you to do this or I will end this world. Everyone will die this time.” his voice stays low and soft like it’s a secret and no one can hear it but them. They scare her but for all the wrong reasons - logic says it’s a charade,  _run Darcy, run_. Yet her heart says to believe him, this isn’t a charade nor the fear in his eyes.

“You can not hurt me Loki. And you will not touch me again.” her words turn hard and he accepts that.

“You have my word.”

“Your words are not good enough, swear it and seal it with magic.” she fires back and she feels herself being lifted again and pushed back against the wall with magic. It’s not rushed, there is no pain this time.

“You are learning so well my cunning little cunt.” the tread of insults are back as his voice is lifted and the whispers are gone.

 

She feels something slithering around her neck. It’s alive and she freezes in fear as she sees a snakehead make it’s way to the center of her cleavage. It’s tail looping around its body at the base of her neck.

It’s body now growing cold, flesh turned into gold and those black beaded eyes turned into emeralds. It’s heavy and cold against her skin.

“You are under my protection against all others including myself. All you need is to scream of true terror and this creature will swallow all who surround you in whole. His belly would even burn the skin of a God down to their bones. He is yours to command. My son, the beautiful Midgard Serpent.” he tells her and she feels it, his magic smells it. It’s like winter, cold and crisp.

“Your what?!” she gasps at him.

“Another story, another time. Now it’s time for your part of the bargain, should you try to run from me the very thing that will protect you will tighten against your neck till you are lifeless against the ground.“ those words wash over her and she feels fresh air blowing back against her skin.

"What is going on .. what are you doing?" 

“Some things are meant to stay private,” he tells her and she can only guess he was clouding them from something or someone this whole time.

 

“Heimdall, if you please. I believe the AllFather is awaiting us.”

 


	2. Chapter 2

 

Her body was not made to travel through space, everything inside felt as if it was being tossed around. Soon as her knees hit the  floor a knowing burning sting laces up her throat.

Tries to breathe, keep it down but it’s too late. Vile is being purged from her stomach, burns against the inner walls of her nose and mouth. She feels her body relaxing only to tighten again and the cold sweat works her body over again as she heaves one more time.

Loki does nothing for her but stares at her with hateful eyes. She looks around, notes they are not alone. She is smack in the middle of some over-sized golden throne room and that’s when she hears other voices.

A voice she knows, Thor.

“Perhaps we should allow her to rest before we continue this.” he asks gently and she is mortified. All she can do is keep her head down and sit on her knees in silent.

“Nonsense.” Loki finally speaks and with a wave of his hand, the floor is clean and she feels her body shifting on the inside. “Do please stand Darcy.” he orders her softly and she finds she isn’t struggling, she isn’t weak but feels rather fine.   

“Let’s begin, shall we.”

 

It feels like torture against her heart as she hears Loki talk of her, says she is his lover. That she took him willingly and that it was for her he destroyed New York. It was for her that he followed the Mad Titan.

“Darcy, does he speak the truth? You need not to be afraid, he can not harm you here.” Thor looks at her, standing next to Odin.

“Yes.” She answers.

Loki smiles as he watches his little mortal play her part and he notes Odin staring down at her chest. At the piece that lays around her neck.

“You gift her protection Loki? If this is the case, then there was no need to work under Thanos. Do you not title yourself a master of magic and spells?” Odin asks him, his mind seeking the truth from his not son who is now called the God of Lies and no longer mischief.

“I had no reason to believe she was in danger until I saw the images Thanos bore inside my head of her being torn apart when he put the scepter in my hand. My goal was to take the scepter, find the tesseract and bring it somewhere out of the reach of everyone. Thanos wishes to destroy all, be the sole ruler of only a few races.” Loki replies with even breathes and no rush in his voice.

_Master of lies._

“Ever the silver tongue.” Odin taunts him, trying to provoke him and see his plan.

“Be as that may, but he would start with our race, and those just as strong. Only leaving the weak to control. I am not fond of extinction, Odin.” the  first name of the king falls from his mouth, a public slap against the King.

“And you wish me to believe that my wayward son?” the old King snarls back.

“If you do not believe me, give me the truth serum. If you find me lying then throw me in the dungeons and send this mortal on her way back home.”

 “No!” Darcy quickly yells out, her body freezing as spears are pointed at her by the surrounding guards and but she must refrain from screaming. The necklace will kill them all. Yet if they take him away and send her home she will be good as dead as well.

“Give it to me, ask me anything. I will tell you the truth about Loki, about our time. Just do not take him away from me.” she stammers out to Odin as fear moves inside her.    

“Frigga my Queen.” Odin orders his wife to come forward and the guards step away, birthing room for their Queen.

Frigga stop in front of Darcy, looks to her son, “You know this will hurt her, Loki.” the Queen pleads to her lost son, to not allow Darcy to take it.

“I am not weak.”  the young mortal tells her, adrenaline pumping inside her veins as her inner fight mode kicks in to survive this all.

“Open your mouth Darcy.” Frigga’s hand swirl in the air and blue liquid appears, moves in a tornado fashion, falling into the mouth of  Darcy. She chokes on it, waves of pain rip her apart from the inside for everyone to see all those dirty little secrets she has hidden.

And then it burns.

She looks over to Loki, eyes wide, mouth open and tears leaking down her face. She reaches for his hand but he does not give her his. Instead he lets her fall to the floor, knees hitting hard and hands clutching her chest.

It takes less than a minute but feels like an hour until a cooling sensation moves inside her, chilling everything inside her. She coughs and taste leather and winter and knows that last part is Loki’s doing.

 

“Rise, daughter of Midgard, Darcy Lewis.” Odin speaks to her.

“Did you know this was Loki when you meet him?”

“Yes I did, he hid nothing from me.”

“And yet you aided him after his fall, even after he destroyed the place you lived in previously. Tried to kill his brother and fellow warrior friends?”

“Everyone deserves a second chance, even a God. And they were never his friends, Thor’s only.”

“He is not a God, we are not Gods. We live, we die, just longer than you humans.” the King’s voice grows tight and angry.

“It doesn’t matter.” She snaps back bravo.

“Do you really think he loves you? That he simply allowed Thanos to control him, take hold of his mind and make him his puppet? Loki is a master of minds, I find it hard to believe he would allow such a thing to happen.”

“Loki is no ones puppet, he was just a desperate man trying to be free. Free of you. Free of Asgard. Free of Thor. Free of shadows.” the forced truth falls from her tongue and it feels heavy because she thinks her death is now sealed because of it.

“Ha! You speak the truth now, that none of it was for you..just his twisted notion of freedom for himself.” Odin moves towards her, his fingers clipping her chin softly and holding her gaze in his one eye. What she sees shocks her, it’s hope. Hope that the next thing she says will indeed set his son free.

“You are wrong, it was for me. I am his freedom.” And none of it’s a lie, it’s just parts and pieces of different truths. He smiles slightly and lets go of her, moving back up to his throne chair and sitting down.

“Loki of Asgard, you are exhausted of your crimes against Earth. However you will be tried and punished for crimes against Thor and the destruction against Jotunheim. You will remain in the palace under watch.” Odin decrees his order.

“Darcy you will be sent back to Midgard where you belong. Guards escort her to Heimdall.”

“Loki!” She yells for him and he smiles at her, it’s wicked and puts her heart down. Her part done and now so easily disposed of without care.

So stupid to have believed in him _“I need you to play one last time.” voice now desperate and she sees fear in his eyes._ She thought that was him, that it was her Loki, and all this was just part of some bigger plan.

 

“Wait Odin!” Frigga steps forward again, her hand glowing as she palms Darcy stomach. “She is with child, Loki’s child.”

“That is not possible!” Loki fires out loud, looking at the two women.

“It is, you are to be a father Loki. And she a mother.”

“Oh fucking hell!” Darcy blurts out as the room goes silent.


	3. Chapter 3

Darcy was told to leave the throne room, guards escorting her to the healing chamber to check for truth of life inside her.

They poked and prodded her virtually without hands yet the pressure was there. She felt everything. Eyes looked down on her with pity at first but flashes of pure hate appeared when they confirmed she indeed is carry the child of their insane Prince, Loki.  

A guard was tasked to deliver the news back to the court. Sif had made her appearance and declared she was to escort the mortal to her holding room, Loki’s room, until they decided her fate.

 

“So tell me little mortal, did you roll over for him or did he hold you down?” Sif’s voice sneaks up behind Darcy. The short statue mortal was in no gaming mood though, “ Only if I asked him.” she sneers back at the female warrior with venom in her voice.

“You did not speak the whole truth and I will prove it.” Sif continues to taunts her. Darcy finds herself stopping and turning to face the other woman.

“You know nothing.”

“I know I saw you reach for his hand and he ignored you. So how does that make you feel? Knowing you spread your legs for him and this is his affection for you now?”

“I am not weak, I do not need my hand to be held.”

“I’m shocked you can say that with the truth serum still in your blood. So let me ask you, Darcy Lewis of Midgard. When he took you, did he make you kneel? Did he use all your holes without remorse? Answer me!”

Wants of violence push through Darcy like a tidal wave. Those pale fingers echo against Sif’s face as she slaps the Asgardian woman.

“Go fuck yourself.”  

Sif merely smirks at her, no redness on her cheek. She felt nothing from that slap.

“I’m just trying to figure why a person with any loyalty inside them would allow him to use them? Tell me the truth and I promise you a safe passage home, free from him!”

 

“That is enough Sif.” A voice travels from behind them, Darcy looks to see Loki nearing them.

“Prince Loki, not in chains? Is the dungeon too full for you?”  Sif looks to Loki and takes a step back from Darcy.

“There is always room but it will be your body if you cross me again by attacking my mortal.” Those green eyes bore into hers , his pale face set into a scowl with promises of pain.

“I am not scared of you Prince Loki, regardless of your inner monster. Has he shown you his true form Darcy? Maybe then you would not be such a willing bed warme-”

“Stop it! JUST STOP IT!” Darcy screams at her but all she can see is a wall of black leather and green velvet in front of her.

“Test me again Sif! Go ahead, speak to her again..” Loki growls at the other woman, his dagger digging into her underjaw. His free fingers pulling on Sif’s hair, craning her neck back painfully.  ”Perhaps if someone was willing to bed you, you would not be so jealous of the cock this mortal sits on yo-  

 

“Loki!” A strong feminine voice surrounds them and Loki knows it well, dropping his dagger back down with his hand. Sif falls to her knee in respect of the Queen. “I did not raise you to be without wits because only a man without a sound mind would dare speak of lady that way. Rather his past consort or the mother of his child.”

“And Lady Sif, I suggest you take your leave and find something sweet to pull the ill bitter words off your tongue before you speak again. And remember you went to him willing once upon a time so do not mock Darcy for only doing what you did once.” Frigga speaks to the female warrior.

“Apologizes my Queen, my temper has bested me in this moment.”

“Take your leave and apologize to our royal house guest, Sif. She carries your future Prince.” the Queen demands the female warrior. Sif turns to Darcy, “Apologizes.” and then she walks away from them.

 

“Mother.” Loki snaps back with a fake smile in place.

“Do not make this worse than it is. Please.” Frigga begs her son.

“Define worse.” He asks her and she looks at him with hope and love but sorrow.

“You could be ripped from me.”

“I already was.”

“You will earn back your brothers trust. You will earn back your place in this home.You will not leave your child fatherless. You have been given till this child is birthed to do this. This is your trial, one I had to beg your father for. One I had to beg for your lover, Darcy. The court wanted her sent back to Midgard with the seed ripped from her.”

“And if I fail.”

“Then I will mourn you with no hope of your return. And your child, your innocent child will be sent back to Midgard along with Darcy and never know the love of his or her family here.”

 _No, I will die. There will be no trip back home._ Thoughts fly through Darcy’s head, the Queen so unaware of the death spell hiding behind the protection spell wrapped around the mortals neck.

 

* * *

 

Nestled into his room Darcy finally collapses to the floor, her hands cover her face and she rocks her body.

Loki looks down at her and sneers as he walks past her, heading for the bathroom but before he steps inside he stops and looks back to her.

He watches her body stiffen as she sits straight up and turns to look at him. He sees no tears but the seething anger pooling in her eyes and floating in the heavy deep breaths she takes.

“YOU! You fucking bastard!” Her voice fills his room.

“Excuse me?” He hisses at her.

 “You gamble on my life as if it means nothing! How did you even know I would volunteer to take the serum.”

“Simple. You want to live, all you mortals are greedy for a few extra years of life.”

“And if he would have said no, made you have taken it?!”

“I guess we will never know.” Loki says, shrugging his shoulders and casting her away as if her life was truly something so trivial.

“Fuck you! I put my neck out there for you! I give you my word and -

“Do not take liberties you do not have! You will not berate me as if you are my equa-”

“You were going to let them send me off knowing it would have killed me -

“YOU ARE BENEATH ME!”

“YOU SHOULD HAD SAVED ME NOT YOUR MOTHER!”

“YOU ARE NOT SUPPOSED TO CARRY MY CHILD!”

 

Both of them stare at each other, their voices gone silent as Darcy stays sitting on the floor and Loki standing at the bathroom door like a concrete statue.

“You may share my bed and I will keep my word of not touching you.” he finally breaks the minute of silence.

“Go to hell.” she hisses at him and watches as he slams the thick wooden door shut behind him. Her body flinches at the sound of objects coming apart from the bathroom. She can see him in the middle of it, like the eye of a tornado as things are destroyed around him.

And then he screams.

And now she cries.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> don't forget to feed the writers soul - be kind and leave a review :-)


	4. Chapter 4

She doesn’t remember leaving the cold unforgiving floor, her body curled up into a ball so small in the middle of a bed. It feels like an ocean swallowing her whole and she doesn’t want to breathe. Wants to drown in the water of horrible life choices that have put her in this fucked up position.

A cool hand sweeps over her face, soft and gentle. A mother’s touch. She looks up to see Frigga looking down on her with such open and kind eyes.

Darcy doesn’t think, she reacts and reaches for the mother of Asgard and prays a little she will just give her this comfort. For once her prays are answered and the Queen keeps her pressed against her chest and whispers words into her mass of chocolate hair.  

 

“You need to eat, you went to bed unfeed. Today you will keep me company.”

“Where is Loki?” the mortal questions, pulling back from the Queen’s arms and eyes searching the room for a moment.

“He knows very well the charm of silver tongue would not ease you but only a mother’s touch. So he invited me to stay with you after he placed you in the bed last night.”

“No, I’m just important enough for him to want me alive so he gives me to you since it’s rather obvious how Asgard feels towards me based on Sif last night.” Darcy lets bitter words fall so sharp off her tongue as she looks down at her smooth stomach.  So quickly Frigga clips her chin with gentle notion and lips curved into a soft smile, “Let me tell you a secret.”

“He can be such a cruel creature but it’s always buried with truth and good. Nothing he does is without reason or a thousand thoughts before hand. He has faced a fate in life that would have even killed my King. So do not give up hope.”

“Your son burned that out of me last night.”

“Then allow him time to light it back up.”

 

* * *

 

 

Six months moved by slowly but Loki keeps to his word. He doesn’t touch her, not when he hears her restless breathing in bed next to him. Not when she moans in their bath chamber while trying to find release.

This sight of her, this lush and reeking of need makes his body tight. Fullness of her hips and  heavy breast has him wanting  to map her body. Give her whatever she desires  yet he doesn’t. Instead they just put on a show for the crowd when in public.

It all fades away though once inside their bedroom chamber. It’s just civil and formal.

 

“Loki.” she calls to him, standing at the foot of the bed.

“Yes.” he walks from the bathroom and watches as she tries to reach behind herself to untie the fabric holding everything together and covered up.

“Can you help me.” her voice almost a whine and he knows she is aggravated. She is becoming more and more like this each day.

“Stop sending away the maid whose duties is to dress and undress you. Now I have to call her back.” he scolds her, it wasn’t meant to come out unpleasant. It’s been fives days since they last bared teeth at each other.

 

“I don’t want your fucking dressing maid touching me with her filthy hands! And you just let her … God .. she may as well bend over and say fuck me Loki.” Darcy snaps back, fingers digging into the silk knot but with no luck.

“Why are you jealous, little mortal?!”  Loki bites back but he goes to her regardless, hands working the sash undone.

“I’m sure she fucks everyone she dresses.”

“She is solely mine, no one else.” his voice hits her ear and his fingers jerk her clothing a bit too much and now it’s all falling off her. Her hands hold it close to her chest, she doesn’t move or make a sound now.

Loki isn’t done yet though, he spins her around and wants to throw another insult her way. Wants to keep up the charade and make her believe she was only ever worth one thing to him - a play thing, a thing for him to fuck ,a pawn for him to use - and nothing more.

 

Yet her cheeks are red and salty tears push down.

“Darcy.” he chokes her name.

She doesn’t respond back, her eyes shut tight.  He holds her face, lips against her forehead, “no one can replace you and no one has.”,  that voice so low, like hiding truth from the room itself.

Those nerves inside her are on fire, this is what he does to her. Stomps her down so low and then dangles little pieces of hope on a string in front of her. She climbs it but he always cuts it before she can reach the top.  

Tonight though, she refuses to fall.

“Please Loki .. just .. touch me, please.” her voice is like a wet dream.

“No Darcy.”

“Please… just drop the spell!”

“No.”

“Why? Do I repulse you now? Am I not your ‘play thing’ that you love to play with so much?” she mocks him with renewed heat.

 

His eyes light up in an anger she has never seen before. Those large pale fingers snatches her hand and he has her palming his hard cock while her dress falls.

“Only an idiot would look at you, look at you now so lush, and not want to fuck you. And I am no idiot Darcy.”

“Then just do it!”

“No, I will not allow him to use you against me again!” his voice raises and the room shakes. Pieces of a truth she doesn’t know about slips from his mouth. Furniture breaks, a mirror shatters. Fear leeks off Darcy and all he can do is look on at the chaos he has caused.

 

Inside her.

 

“I will tell them you are feeling ill and will not be joining us for dinner tonight. A serevent will bring you up food.”  And just like that he cut the string and she does fall.

He walks out the room and she screams his name.

 

 


	5. Is Not How He Loves

**I've never played a fair game, I've always had the upper hand." - Sia**

 

Three hours later Loki is finally pulling himself back into our ruined room. He looks ragged and bloodied. His lip split and his pale cheek fading into purple, red whelps shaped like fingers wrap around his slender neck.

“Who beat the hell out of you?”

“Thor. Who else?” He walks past her, stripping himself of his clothes and walking into their bathroom.

“What did you do?” She asks him, getting up from the bed and following him. The room still left in broken pieces by his own magic.

“I was fucking Sif.” He blurts out, giving her his back.

And it’s now she knows she still has a heart, that it’s still in his hand. Because nothing else can explain the pain ripping apart her chest now. She doesn’t say a word though, instead she turns to leave and walks out the room.

Perhaps for good.

Let’s see how far it will take before the necklace  wrapped around her neck will end her.

 

 …

 

A note slips under the door of the Queen and King’s private chambers. Bare feet move away from the door and walk quietly away. They will know the truth, it will set her free she hopes in the afterlife.

She should had never crawled into bed with him. Should have told them both from the beginning it was all a lie and their son was a true damaged psychopath with no redemption.   

 

Darcy walks out of the palace, no one pays her mind. After all she is the poor mortal caught up in a bad roll of the dice between Gods.

Night is beautiful in Asgard.  Stars aren’t just these specs of light, but up here; here she could see the flames that lit them up. Consumed them till they give way and fall. _Like Loki_.

She is alone in Frigga’s private garden. A place she knows well, so many sits and talks with the Queen herself or just the voice inside her head.

The banks edge falls into a body of a black ocean. Always moving, always falling into it’s waterfall lines that disappear into a black hole. It’s the edge of the world, of their world.

She welcomes it tonight.

 

Thor told her they send their dead off through there. Those who die honorable deaths and fall in battle will be taken into the belly of Valhalla and sit among the bravest. However the unfavored will be drowned into Hel bosom herself and always long and want for something.

She wonders will she rise or drown.

 _Doesn’t matter, freedom always comes with a price.  Let’s gamble one last time._  

 

“Lost little mortal?”

Loki. Always a flare for timing. She gives her back and remits to stay strong this time.

“Nope, not this time.”her words hard fast and sound.

“Oh but I think you are. Weak mortal that is easily measured in worth, it’s very easy for you to get lost when surrounded by higher beings.”   

His barbs are like whips against her heart, she doesn’t know if there is any meat left of the muscle now that he has thoroughly beat it without remorse.

All she knows is she feels cut up inside, twisted and ugly now.

“Was none of it real?”  Darcy’s resolves break, she turns her face to look him in the eyes this time.

“You are fat now with my child, alive and breathing instead of resting beneath dirt. Is that not proof enough it was real?” he scolds her, moving towards her. She can see his hand lifting to grab her but not this time.

“Goodbye Loki.”  She whispers softly.  Her body turns and pushes off the edge, within a blink of the eye she is finally free.

 So she thinks.

Her body falls but she doesn’t scream. Only closes her eyes, waiting for the water to break her limbs, snap her neck and send her over the edge into blackness. She prays that Hel has pity on her and that halls of Valhalla will open for her. 

 

But some things are not meant to be.

 

A snake’s mouth fills with venom as its tongue becomes heavy inside his wide girth. A wolf cries into the night as its pliant body remains still no more. Tonight, the forgotten monsters sired by Loki himself come alive and Asgard will feel them for the first time in so long.

Feel them as they weep.

Weep for their father because they are a part of him and will always feel his rage, his pain, and even his madness. A twisting and unyielding bond. 

 

….

  

Loki watches her fall, feet bolted into the ground and his arm stretched out.Those creamy pale digits for the first time seemingly so short, not long enough to reach her. 

His lips pull tightly together and eyes slant down in rage. Skin knotts above his nose and divots in his skin move like blue spiderwebs next to his eyes. He is nothing of grace and elegance.

One brutal scream rips his throat apart. Then silence sweeps over.

A crumpled note falls from a large palm behind. His  _not_ brother, Thor.

Darcy’s note.

Her admission of silent execution to herself for betrayal to everyone because she fell in love with Chaos. Trusted him like a child - always unwavering and always forgiving.       

 

“What have you done Loki!” Thor’s voice cracks the air wide open with sparks of lightning.

“She is gone. She is gone. She is go-“ Loki repeats his mantra as the silence breaks.

“You drove her to this!” Thor screams at the younger God, his body springing up and hand reaching for that marred pale neck.

“SHE LOVED YOU IN-SPITE OF EVERYTHING YOU ARE!” his voice is like cannons against the dark haired god ears. Tears roll down his face and the Asgard sky screams above them. Light crack the black sky like a whip, its tail end kissing the stars and shattering them like rain.

_Darcy’s stars!_ A mad voice of rage fills Loki’s mind. She would watch them fall and weep every time.

“STOP IT! YOU ARE BREAKING THEM!” Loki wails against his older brother. His pale skin breaks like glass and mouth fills with fangs dripping with wet rage. His blood painted eyes bore into the blonde gods face. “YOU WILL NOT BREAK THEM, YOU WILL NOT HURT HER!”

Royal blue skin burns the hand wrapped around his neck before it falls from it.

A hammer is barely seen before it lands in Thor’s bloody burnt hand, his body ready to take a blow and give more than a blow back.

Power crackles around the blue Jotunn  _Loki_ , his voice breaks everything surrounding them. The garden is ruined, trees splinter like rotting wood. Statues and water fountains lay in pieces against the ground.

Everything is in pieces.

Including himself, Loki.

Thor watches his brother fall to his knees. Never has he seen his true form, never has he seen him this broken.

The rain falls around them and he keeps his hammer wielded in his hand as he stares down at his dark haired  _not_  brother.

 

“He was always going to pull her apart; he was always going to win. I was always going to witness her death … I just thought not by my hands.” Loki whispers in a mad laugh.

“You will be executed for this, there is no saving you!” Thor hiss at him, hate birthing inside his heart for his brother for the second time in their long lives.

“I HATED HER! I CARED NOTHING FOR HER. SHE WAS SAFE FROM HIM!” And finally the God of Chaos is unleashed. “I will kill him and then I will destroy those fucking mortal heroes for interfering with everything. Everyone will die. YOU SHOULD HAVE LET ME RULE OVER THEM! SHE WOULD HAVE BEEN SPARED!” Loki’s mind snaps and for the first time in the God of Thunder's life he fears his brother and the power within him.

The ground beneath their feet moves and Thor can feel it sinking to the core of their home, he will tear this planet apart.

“I HAD EVERYTHING UNDER CONTROL! “

“Loki stop.. you will tear down our home down.”

“I COULD HAD STOPPED HIM –

“LOKI STOP! YOU ARE MADNESS!”

“…PROTECTED HER …ENDED IT ALL!”

Thor move’s without hesitation, “Forgive me brother”, his words lost on deaf ears as his hammer blows against his baby brothers head leaving him against the soft grass unmoving but not dead.

Blood weeps between thin blue lips and finally behind closed lids and heavy black lashes tears fall.

Thor picks up Loki, cradling him against his chest with an understanding of it all. But none of it matters, Darcy is gone and the unborn child in her womb. He can only hope Hel will give her peace and not feed her to the Hounds of Hel. That she will take pity on her out of love for her father, he who has never forgotten her. He knows there is no heaven for Darcy, she took her life. Those doors to Valhalla will be closed. But for the unborn child, it will sit among his ancestors. 

 

 

 

 


	6. Chapter 6

“What have you done Thor?!” the Queen’s voice falls with broken eyes as she looks between her boys. Thor looks torn as he faces his mother, Frigga.

Healers keep their heads down and eyes solely on the disgraced Prince lying limp on the table.

“Everyone out!” Frigga’s authority cuts into the air around them and no one questions her. She moves her hands over her _not_ dark haired child, assessing him till she is satisfied. She picks up a cloth and moves to Loki’s face, no one has bothered to wipe his blood from that beautiful blue skin. They left it smeared with tracks of red.

“No one has cleaned his face, is he not their Prince?” she mutters her insides twist at the hate her people hold towards her son.

Blooms of purple and black kiss the side of his head, running into his onyx hair. Anger births inside her body.

“What have you done!?” she growls at her eldest child, yet she knows exactly what he did. Seen before the damage that Thor’s hammers can claim against an object. She wants to hear it though, the reason for it before she falls ill over Thor’s actions towards Loki.

“He was going mad, I had to stop him.” Thor pleads to his mother,  makes a move towards her but she emits a power that blocks him.

“SO YOU STRIKE HIM DOWN LIKE SOME VILLAIN?!” Frigga screams at him.

“His mind was slipping! His anger was unsheathed and Asgard would be in shambles if I had not done what I did.” Thor argues back, never has he yelled before at his mother till now. His father yes, never Frigga.

Guilt builds inside him.

 

“Where is Darcy, is she safe?” the queen’s mind spins. Thor had found Frigga running through the halls with Darcy’s note in her hand. Thor could get to Darcy quicker though and his mother begged him in short words to bring her back her children – Darcy, Loki and the unborn child.

Thor failed though.

“It’s why his mind slipped.”

Guilt now splits him wide open.

“No!” Frigga cries out and Thor moves to her, pulling her into his arms as she crumbles against his chest.

“I am sorry mother, I was too late. She is gone and now I am afraid so is Loki.”

 

* * *

 

Three days time is what it takes for the fallen Prince of Asgard to wake again.

Right now, his room feels too small with Thor inside it. He feels suffocated and he wants to break free. 

“I was surprised when I woke I wasn’t not chained like some wild beast, locked away and forgotten about.After all, did I not add another mortal to my death count.” Loki speaks into the silence that has gone on too long. Exactly one hour since Thor stepped inside his room.

Those sharp green eyes cut across the room and Thor narrows his gaze.

“Your words do not fool me, not this time. You loved her, she is gone. It is okay to break.”

“I will not break over some mortal who was nothing more than a warm cunt to satisfy my basses of needs.” Loki snaps looking at his brother, the forever golden son with his sun kissed skin and blonde hair.

“You will not speak of her like that! She loved you for all your faults and carried that proof with your child inside her.”

“Then she must have grown smart and seen my faults could never be truly overlooked. It’s why she took her life is it not? She cared nothing for me nor that thing inside her or she wouldn’t have thrown herself away.” Loki moves to Thor, invading his space and holding his eyes with his own.

Their heights barely different, the only thing they ever had in common.

“It was you that pushed her over the edge when you cared nothing of how she would feel with your cock buried inside Sif.”  Thor hissed at him and Loki smirks at the emotions playing in his brothers eyes.

“What is this? Jealously, Thor? Does it burn you that I was fucking your precious Lady Sif?”  Thor’s rage follows his hand as he punches Loki in the face. He watches his brother stumble backwards and fall to his ass.

Loki all but laughs back at him.  

 _Hit me, bring me pain again_  Loki tells himself this, he wants physical pain not the pain inside his body he is trying to ignore.

 

“Darcy loved you and it is because you are weak that she is dead! You could never love her the right way.”

Something snapped inside Loki and he felt himself burn alive with nothing but venom. His hand now clutched around his _not_ brother's neck and Thor’s back against the floor as he straddles him, his other hand holding a dagger point at Thor’s heart. 

“I AM NOT WEAK! It was she that was weak. I just needed more time.”

Thor growls at him, bucks his body and uses his legs too fling Loki's body across the room. Loki's body smacks against the wall with a heavy sound and parts of solid stone crumble behind his lethal form. Thor stands and looks at him. 

“And now you have nothing but time. It is only because of Father that you are even alive now, the court wants your head. The other realms are begging for your death for bringing Thanos so close to a weapon that would he would use only for our deaths.”

“Then give them my head.” Loki says with an air of elegance, his mask back in place even as he lay slumped against the wall with blood dripping from his nose.

“No, Darcy believed you, held out some hope even in her last words.”  and that makes Loki’s lips fall from his smirk when he watches Thor pull a ruined note out from his pocket and drops it to the floor.

“Tell Odin I wish to see my children since I am confined to this room.”

The blonde Prince walks to his brother’s door and takes one look back at him, “And it was never Sif I held jealousy for.”

His words hang in the air around Loki but Loki grabs them, swallows them and stands up. His face stoic and strong lined as he keeps the acknowledgment of what just happened inside his head.

“Leave.”

 


	7. Chapter 7

A month’s time has passed and things are still broken.

The bastard Prince of two realms does not sleep, he doesn’t need to. His body is not weak but his mind is slowly breaking apart. Avoidance of everyone has keep him confined to his room, not even his _not_ mother has seen him.

Wards weaved so tightly around his room that no one can hear his movement or even his rage at night when he screams till everything is broken over and over again his room. He has heard nothing from his son who was to save Darcy and he can not find her. Not her body in another realm nor her soul above where it belongs.

But tonight is different because tonight he reads the letter left behind from Darcy for the first time, her last words.

 

_Too many things have gone wrong…. I thought I was strong enough to love him but I don’t regret it. ...this is easier because I have nothing left and I’m selfish. Force once I just want the easy way out.  ..... y ~~ou know up here I can watch the stars burns out before they fall, that’s how I found him.~~ Please don’t give up on him._

_Maybe now I understand why he let go and fell into the black abyss._

Power burns the tips of his fingers and shuts the life out behind his eyes. Bloody red tears fall between patterns along his face.

A scream rips through him that wakes Asgard herself. The wards fall from his room and a new power takes over.  

The now blue Prince is found on his knees with blood red tears and every broken object in his room encased in ice.  This is how his  _not_  Asier brother finds him. Thor will always hear his not brother’s screams, he will always come to him when he does hear them.

Daggers of ice fly towards the open door and Thor barely moves out of the way, hearing them shatter against the wall behind him in the wide hallway. He looks at the one next to his body, that one stronger and jammed into the stone wall.

He walks towards Loki who looks at him with wild ruby eyes and his body shaking. 

It rips Thor apart as he pulls Loki’s unwilling body into his warmth. Long black nails dig into his skin and the burn of Loki’s blue flesh has him wincing but he doesn’t let go.

He will not let Loki go this time.  Rain pours from the sky and lighting kisses the black canvas like a whip. Each crack mimics his tears. Each crack has Loki jerking as pale skin washes back over him. “I have looked everywhere! I can not find her or her soul!”

“She is safe, she is with Hel. Your daughter will bring them peace.” Thor whispers into his ear, hoping that the words are true and Hel has her at least.

“No! Her place is on a throne in heaven, to burn bright inside a thousand stars and never fall! SHE WAS SUPPOSED TO HAVE WAITED!” Loki cries to Thor. “And I can not find her star..”

Thor lets one of his hands wonder, fingers pressing pressure against his brother in the right spot till his body is limp and nothing but a rag doll against him.

Thor lifts him and they leave this forsaken room behind them. He doesn't miss the dresses Darcy had to wear as she grew with child, even some of her mortal clothing, all of it torn and ripped to pieces littering the floor.

All but one.... the one his mother made her when she was to swollen with child to wear something else.

Guards stationed outside Loki’s room stare at the blonde Prince holding his fallen not brother. Their eyes judging him but their lips remaining shut.

“You will guard him no more, leave us be.” Thor orders them, clutching Loki against his chest.

“Prince Thor, it is by the King’s order to not leave Loki alone.” The guards argue back with a pleading look to just allow them to follow their orders.

“He is your Prince and you will call him as such!”  And there is something to fear as Thor glares at them, his voice demanding and daring them to say another word back.

“Thor!”

The blonde Prince looks towards the woman running down the hall, her hair down and no crown upon her head. Just a flimsy blue gown and short sword in her hand always a warrior first.

“Queen Frigga.” The guards greet their Queen quickly, bowing their heads as she approaches them.

“ I felt his magic …  heard his cries … did they hurt him?!” She breathes her words as she tries to catch her breath while looking over her youngest son.

“He screams for Darcy because he cannot find her. Not above, not in the stars or halls of Valhalla.”   

 

* * *

 

 

This time when Loki wakes, he is locked against a larger body of warmth and pure strength. He knows this is Thor's room. His throat is dry and lips feel cracked as he chokes out her name again. She invaded his dream again.  

_The swell of her stomach and her outstretched hand reaching for him. But Thanos is there, behind her and pulling her away from him with a devil’s smile._

_And then Thanos vanishes. It’s a  mirror image of himself ripping her apart as she cries out his name.  Her hand still out for him to save her, begging for his help but he is frozen.  His name dies on her tongue. She doesn’t know it’s him killing her,doesn’t see the green eyes behind her or even note it’s pale hands tearing into her heart not purple ones._

“Loki.” Thor says his name gently but his hands are like steal against Loki’s limbs, keeping him next to him. “I will not let you go, not this time.”

“Thor, I love her.” Loki lets the truth spill from his lips for the first time in so long.

“I know. And she loved you.”

“She could have screamed he would have saved her.”  Loki blurts out, their conversation just broken statements at this point but Thor is curious about this statement.

“Who Loki?” Thor asks but Loki doesn't want to talk. He's tired of talking, tired of feeling pain. He wants something to make him forget. Something psychical. So he does something brash and rushes up to Thor’s face, kissing him and slipping his hands into Thor’s hair. It’s not kind, it’s not gentle. It’s rough and demanding as he pulls and bites Thor’s lip. His body hard pressed against Thor’s who cannot hide the growing hardness between his legs.

“Loki .. no!” Thor’s words are ragged and broken. Loki tries to pull away from him but he is pinned beneath Thor's larger body.

“Am I not what you desire? Were those words you spoke a month ago nothing but a lie?” Loki asks him.

“I would give you pleasure but I would receive none. I am not what you desire so I will be content and full with your love as it is. As my brother regardless of your blood. You are grieving, so grieve and know I am here when your dreams haunt you.”

“Get off me. If you will not give me what I want then I shall take it from someone else.” Loki curls his lips and tries to stab his brother with hated words.

“And do what Loki? Call them by the wrong name again? Call them Darcy, change their form into Darcy’s without them knowing just like you had done to Sif. So no, I will not let you go. And you will not leave my arms. Now sleep.”

The thunder God rolls his body, keeping his trickster pressed against him in a death’s embrace. He will not allow Loki to harm himself, he will save him this time. He will protect him, even if it’s against himself.  

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh my poor sweet Loki... come chat with me on tumblr [mewlingquimlover](http://mewlingquimlover.tumblr.com)


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _No longer is he the God of Mischief. No longer is he named the silver tongued for his unyielding cunning tongue. No, that deity died at the hands of Thanos. He is a liar and bedded mayhem. He is the God of Chaos and embodies it all. But now, every realm knows it._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> don't forget to feed the writers soul, leave us some love notes... ;-) and thank you for everyone who has still keep up wit this and it's revision. Only two more chapters to go!!!! Also quick note, I'm no longer on tumblr. Just wasn't spending much time on there, but thank you to everyone who sent me love notes on there about this story and other things.

 

It’s the next day and Loki is sprawled out against the grass in Frigga’s private garden. It’s back into its perfect state of beauty since he destroyed it. His eyes are closed and his fingers dig deep into it the gardens floor, feeling the coolness the dirt itself offers to his skin.   

His eyes snap open at the feel of shadows over looming him.

He is greeted by unmistakable green eyes peering down at him from a wolf larger than three Thor’s stacked together. His body folds quickly to his knees as he wraps his arms around the large neck, inhaling the winter smell the wolf’s fur carries.

“Hello my son. I have missed you more than you can imagine Fenrir.” Loki tells him and he feels another presence surround his side. “And you as well, my beautiful child, my Jormungandr.” He reaches out with one hand and rubs the underbelly of the snake’s head.

The snake’s head matching half the wolf’s body in size, but none the less nudging against the wolf’s neck as Loki takes them both into his not long enough arms.

 

“They have been granted passage to join you whenever they wish, inside the palace. Not just outside the walls. In their natural form or man form.”  Thor’s voice peeks into the background Loki pulls back for a moment to look at the man who is not his brother.

“Thank you Thor.”  he smiles for the first time in so long and goes back to his children.

 

Loki lays with a wolf head draped over his stomach and a snake curled around him and the wolf and its head resting over his legs towards his feet.

They stay this way as Loki listens to them, their stories told in silence as they echo inside their heads only.

“Did she scream?” Loki finally asks, needing to know. He knows he should know, he was there but in his mind he wasn’t. The second she stepped off that cliff he didn’t hear anything other than his heart die.

“Father I will always protect you, you who have loved me and never faltered in fear of my true form.” Jor tells him.

“Then tell me she screamed and is hidden away.”  Loki begs him.

“My belly grows fat and in months time I shall birth you a love as you sired me, my brother and sister.”

Loki’s eyes widen at the statement and nothing else matters.

“Hel sends her love and will join us when the time is right, right now she keeps guard of something that I will not name, tucked safely away in her realm where no one can touch her.”

Loki is numb and tears falls freely from his face. He understands now, knows why he could never find her and he is thankful. She is hidden, both body and souls. Thanos can not harm her.

“I believe it is time you take a journey with Thor and I, father. There is a beast I wish to sink my teeth into.” Fenrir tells him.  

 

Asgard watches it’s fallen Prince and soon to be King walk with a wolf that that is known first as Loki’s Son, second as Fenrir – the great wolf.

A man dressed in metal, a demon in green skin, and the rest draped in leather move behind them. The warriors from Midgard, the ones Loki owes repentance too.

Today, the mad titan will fall.

Today Thanos will haunt Loki no more.

Today Loki will find redemption.

 

* * *

 

 

The head of the Mad Titan rolls to the foot of a golden throne. The room goes silent and guards among court officials snap their lips shut to keep vile from spilling onto the King’s throne room floor. The foul stench of a corpse head litters the space between them.

An old King stands to greet his fallen son, his golden son and gives no look upon the mortals behind them.

A wolf snarls and bares it teeth in defiance at the men with spears surrounding them. The mighty Thor grips his weapon tighter. Loki stands there though, his head held high with golden horns donning his head once again.

No longer is he the God of Mischief. No longer is he named the silver tongued for his unyielding cunning tongue. No, that deity died at the hands of Thanos.  

He is a liar and bedded mayhem. He is the God of Chaos and embodies it all.

But now, every realm knows it.

Soft hands move to his face, aged strawberry blonde hair contrast tired blue eyes. It doesn’t matter she is still just as beautiful when she smiles at her son. His thin lips press a feather kiss to her forehead and the Queen smiles for the first time in so long at her son because she is no longer fighting to save his life or shattering into pieces at his actions.

“My Queen, my mother.” he says sweetly to her and tears fall from her eyes.

“My Prince, my son.” she whispers back.

The golden King stands, his staff stamping into the base of this throne platform.

“Thor Odinson, son of Odin Borson, do you find your brother trustworthy again?”

“Yes.”

“Is the court satisfied?”

“The court is satisfied. Welcome home Prince Loki of Asgard.” Echoes around them and it make no difference rather they are satisfied or not. He would simply rip his title back from them and wear it while dancing on their graves.  

Asgard will call him the fallen Prince no more.

 

_A Midgard child was born again while the Asgard Prince's were away._

 

* * *

 

She watches him enter the room, a snake coiled against her body on his bed. More than half his body draped on the floor while he protects her. Her status in the palace resting in a delicate balance till now – if Loki has returned and no guards are here to escort her off the planet or to death then she is free of a lone whore’s title.

Now she is simply Loki’s concubine.

The snake's head lifts to greet his father, he hisses but it’s soft and warming. Loki moves to him, cradling his large head and bending to press a kiss against his mouth.

“Thank you my son. Now leave us, I will dine with you and your siblings tonight at the high table.” The snake makes a soft whining sound, something no normal snake would make.

“Jor, please. I only ask you change just this once. I want to be seated with my children but know it is not out of shame of your true form. But for another purpose.” Its massive head turns back to the mortal laying in bed.

She reaches for him, fingertips grazing the under belly of his head with scared blue eyes. He nudges against her arm before he turns to take his leave.

A wave of magic flows over him shedding his serpent body and now standing as a man as he reaches the door. He turns one last time and Darcy sees him for the first time as human.

Alabaster skin wrapped tightly around lean muscles, no broad shoulders though. Just narrow hips and muscles that weave up his body like tightly wound coils. His green eyes and long lashes are more like predator eyes narrowed in deceit. But it’s his soft heart shaped face, flush of pink under his eyes that softens them. His black hair is twisted and curly down his back and she thinks –  _like mine, wild and unruly_.

Skin laced with shallow markings she has never seen; they rise up slightly and make intricate patterns  _just like his scales do_.

But the most beautiful of them all is the one in the middle of his forehead.

A blue wrap fits his lower body, like an Egyptian warrior. It’s trimmed in gold and carries an air of royalty about it. She notes the horns on his head, strong black tusk and if he did not birth her, protect her, stay with her while Loki was gone she would think him the devil’s son if not the devil himself.

 

“Thank you Jor.”  Darcy whispers to him, she has spoken to him but never once heard his voice. Only his hisses and whines.

He nods his head and disappears, keeping his voice silent to her and only privy to the ears of his father. 

 

“He is beautiful Loki.”

“He is always beautiful, rather crawling on his belly or walking on two legs.” Loki is quick to tell his mortal. The infliction of his son’s beauty pricks his skin  _he is always beautiful! He is perfect!_

They all think his serpent son an abomination, but him.

 

“How did he save me? I didn’t scream. I should not be here.” Darcy asks him, drawing her body to the edge of the bed with feet dangling down to the floor. She has asked Jor but he never answers her, just wraps closer around her and snaps at those around them. Protecting her and ignoring her at the same time  _son like father_ she tells herself. 

A heavy pregnant stomach in front of her and Loki let's his hand spread wide at the underside of it.  She looks exactly the same as she did before she took her life.

He was not expecting her to keep their child. He thought that only Hella brought her soul back to the living world. That their child’s soul was in Valhalla and not sent into his daughter’s hand.  _Doesn’t matter, a question saved for another day, sweet daughter of mine._

“It does not matter; he did what he supposed to do. What I told him to do.” his voice is softer now, losing its knife edge as he flicks his eyes up to hers. His soft voice she hasn't heard in so long, not since he had her on Earth before Thanos took him from her.

“I remember falling. I felt free.” her eyes cast towards the ground. Emotions twisted and the child inside her not helping. It makes her rage and weep at the same time but today she is too tired to hide it all.

Loki has been gone for two months.

She is due within a few weeks time.

“And now?”  his body cages in on her, his fingers clipping her chin and tilting her head back. Legs wrapped in leather push her bare ones apart. The short nightgown riding up her thighs and he notes the milky thighs slightly heavier and it makes his lust burn.

His eyes flicker back up, trapping her blue ones with his.

But she is crying and his limbs stiffen. He has seen her cry, in fits of anger directed at him but this is different. She is different.

"Broken.” his lonely mortal chokes at the word and it slithers inside his body, squeezing his lungs, puncturing his heart.

“And numb.. to you.” a whispering confession.

He can’t breathe, air is restricted but he will not break in front of her. His body dissolves in front of her before his resolve does.

Darcy can still feel the weight of his fingers on her skin and it makes her ill that her body allowed him to touch her. He left her, he used her.

 

 _Just a pawn._ She whispers to herself.

_He fucked Sif._

_He called me a whore._

_He broke me HE pushed me over the edge!_

 

But he killed Thanos.. Thanos threaten to kill her. It’s why he pushed her away. It’s why he kidnapped her to Asgard. It’s why he destroyed New York.

But did Thanos really make those threats?

 

“Was I really nothing but a fail safety switch?” Darcy asks herself with no hope of answer. She doesn’t trust him, she doesn’t believe in him anymore. Whatever bit of hope that was there, that she had for him even as he ripped her away from her world was now shattered.

 


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> just one more to go after this one... thank you to everyone who left me kudos and a special thank you to those who commented as well! every bit means so much to me.

Fenrir walks with Jor, his body as large as Thor. Every bit of the giant his mother was in statute. His canvas milky white as his fathers, with hues of blue running under it, like pulsing veins marking his skin. Nothing about them differs from his brothers markings.  

His bone structure is all Loki, long hard points and sharp angles even though large.

It’s his eyes though, fire honey and a flame of red silky hair that pulls him apart from Jor and Loki. His pupils are too narrow and too tall.

It screams deadly animal.

But soon as he laughs, claps the back of Jor and his face brightens up with a flush of pink he seems less threatening. Even with those dangerous high cheekbones and long feathering black lashes.

 

“Darcy Lewis of Midgard.” his voice shocks her, so light and airy. She stands there, just staring at them outside Loki’s bedroom door. She feels like she has been caught but she isn’t even sure what she was about to do.

 

All she knew is she wanted out, away from her prison. Loki’s room.

 

“I’m Fenrir, Loki’s Son.”

“The Great Wolf.” she says quickly back.

“Yes.” he lights up as she calls him that.

“Brother, leave us. I will join you at the table shortly.” Jor tells him and it’s the first time she has heard his human voice, it’s just like Loki’s. Slightly rough but articulate in every syllable.

“Sure, sure.” Fenrir snorts back with a roll of his eyes and continues on his path to the dining room.

 

Darcy looks back at Jor and she reaches for him, without thinking, and he allows her. His arms wrap tightly around her and she can hear the slow beat of his heart and feel the chill of his skin. It’s oddly calming to her and she sighs and tries to press herself more into him.

“Sweet little Darcy. You will sit with me, you will eat tonight.” He tells her, a hand stroking her hair and she looks up into his eyes. Their connection is nothing like a mother and child but something else, something just as precious and complicated at the same time.

They know it, so does the palace. A few well placed hisses and opened mouth snaps and bared fangs proved he was her protector.

“No.”

“Yes you will. Your child is hungry, you are hungry.”  thin lips smile wickedly at her and she hates it because that is Loki’s smile.

“Then I will have food brought to the room. I will not sit there at that table with him!” she huffs at him pulling away from him to stand her ground.

“No, you will face him. You will acknowledge what he has done for you.”  a harsh voice snaps at her and it freezes her, it’s too much Loki’s. Anger explodes inside her.

“He fucked Sif and called me his whore! That is what he has done for me!”

Cold fingers pluck her chin and the difference between him and his father is there is no anger in his eyes. “Then yell at him, slap him, but listen to him. Make him tell you the truth.”

“And what truth is that?!”

“That there is nothing fair about the way he loves you. But it is the most powerful weapon he will ever hold in his hands because his love for you could destroy a world without a second thought. There is only one fair game to him and that is how he will kill for you.” soft words wash over her.

Darcy breaks and Jor pulls her against his body, “and now every world knows it.” he whispers over the top of her head, tucked under his chin as she continues to cling to him.  

 

 

* * *

 

Dinner was an affair for the books of Asgard, Loki now the reclaimed Prince and his son’s omitted into the royal family. Frigga placing the family crest inside their hands to wear how they choose.

Not a single cheer, no words, not even a whisper from the onlookers of a few court people and servants bowing to the royal family. This was not a celebration; this was something else, something that was long overdue.

Repentance of past sins.

Loki was not ashamed to say it out loud either, his eyes shifting to Odin’s and daring him to correct him.

Only one crest was left behind in the hands Frigga, Hel’s crest. Loki will go to her directly and shower her with gifts, conversations and promises of more moments between them. He misses her; wishes she was her but her realm cannot stand with her gone for too long. So she is back there, where she belongs.

 

Thor sat surrounded by his warriors, both of Asgard and Midgard. Darcy found herself lost in the corner; she doesn’t know them, the Avengers. She has seen them on tv and only the archer has she seen before in person.

Well she thinks she has, Mexico is still fuzzy in her mind.

She had watched Sif for a moment and felt a fire burn inside her belly at her, her fingers clenched the glass in her hand tighter and she never felt it break.

Doesn’t feel the cold liquid or the sting of her open flesh.

“Darcy.” Jor snaps at her in a hushed whisper, bringing her hand into a tight grip and blowing a soft sheen of ice over the open wound to numb it. He looks down at the diluted water with blood on the table.

She looks across the room and doesn’t miss the smirk on Sif’s lips but fails to note Jor letting go of her and another grip taking hold of her, jerking her to stand before thin lips press into her wound and  she watches it heal instantly.

 

“Let go of me.” she hisses at him but he doesn’t, instead he brings her body flush against his and he leans his face down into the crook of her neck.

“I called myself a monster and you my whore, and then you ran from me. I will not let you go this time. You will not fall again, so go ahead and hate me.”  Loki warns her in a harsh voice, his teeth nipping at her neck and making her whelp against him.

“Fuck you.” the brave mortal sneers back, his free hand presses on her stomach. “You already have.” Those green eyes narrow at her as he lets her go and pulls back from her.  

Her hand is like wind against his skin with a pop echoing around the room followed by dropped silverware and glasses from everyone else. Darcy cradles her hand against her chest, feeling the pain moving around it. His face felt like stone and her just a twigg. 

It doesn’t matter though, because anger outweighs pain.

“But now you have Sif to be your new whore. Or does she not enjoy being called my name?” she snaps at him.

“You think your words sting me? I know of torture your mind could never dream of.” he scoffs at her.

“It was you who put yourself in the hands of Thanos. You chose to fall into the abyss, no one pushed you!” her voice raises as their tempers flair.

“And no one pushed you! It was you who wanted to die and kill MY CHILD!” he screams back, everything else is blackout as it becomes just him and her in this moment.

“No! It was you who pushed me, it was you who wrecked me and took me apart! You left me scattered all over the floor without a second thought! Death was a welcomed embrace!”

“I BROKE YOU TO SAVE YOU – “

“NO, TO SAVE YOURSELF – “

“HE WAS GOING TO KILL YOU, HE NEEDED TO SEE YOU MEANT NOTHING TO ME!”

“I NEVER MEANT ANYTHING TO YOU!”

“I am a God! You are beneath me! I was never supposed to love you!” his conviction finally of truth was out on display for everyone to hear.

 

The room remained silent, no one brave enough to make a move as they watched their Prince and his mortal fight with vicious words that no one will forget.

 

Darcy feels her heart stop.

Loki screams.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> don't stab me yet .... i promise .... next chapter... a little bit of hope in the form of glitter ... sprinkled on a black floor of angst...


	10. It's How He Kills.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the absolute last time I touch this fic ... I promise... last update ever... I just felt that it needed more substance... it felt a little rushed... so I hope this is better... I enjoyed writing this and want to express a big thank you to everyone who left me reviews and kudos.. every single one of them means the world to me. 
> 
> They really do, because without them I would not continue to write or update. So thank you.

 

Loki was not prepared for the wake of his sons’ tone when he did enter his chamber, Jar’s body still in male form as he stood in front of an unmoving Darcy. “She is sleeping, tired and broke by your words. She needs rest, for herself and the child.”

Jar had snatched her unconscious body from his hands, it was the first time his son looked onto him with such pain and anger.

 

_“You will not break her anymore!” he screamed at his father, his body vanishing with nothing left behind. Silent chaos erupted in his leave as Loki broke everything his rage could touch, pillars of ice lapsed the floor and walls._

_“Loki!”  Asgard’s Queen screams for her Prince but if left standing with a blinding green light in the Prince’s leave._

 

“She has given you everything and you spite her still.” the words hit Loki hard, harder than Thanos fist ever did. “You once ripped apart a guard by your bare hands who looked at me and called me your monster child the needed to be sent to Hell headless. That night you held me, said you would love me no matter what form I take.”

“And you doubt that I don’t?” Loki snaps back, anger always lingering in his body and so easily drawn out. Yet he hates that it is his son who is pulling it out this time.

“You told me I was not beneath anyone. I am no crown Prince, I am no God, I am a monster sired by two giants from another world born in a snake’s body.”

“You are no monster!” the Prince growls back at his son.

“Then why is she beneath you? She is no monster .. she neither slithers on her belly nor does she bare wolf teeth? Or hide a corpse appearance behind a magic cloak.”

“I have killed thousands for her, do not question my love for her.”  

“She is not beneath you father, it is you who is beneath her..” Jar replies back softly, moving closer to his father, their eyes unmoving from each other.

“She is not the only one who broke, do not  think I did not crack when she took her life and that of my child.” Loki’s bite is harsh and it breaks Jar because he felt his father's pain when Darcy jumped. He was linked to her as well as his father the moment Loki enchanted the snake necklace around Darcy neck. Trapping a piece of his soul in there to come when called upon.  

“And now she is back, and Thanos is dead. Do not break her again father… please… she deserves so much more out of life then all this chaos.”

“Do you not hear my title being shouted across the universe? I am the God of Chaos.” his father's voice is still on edge but he does not let it affect his words or next thought.

“No, you are my father with a love that is unyielding.”

 

Loki watches his son leave, those words sinking into his head as he looks over at Darcy slumbering form in their bed.

 

 

* * *

 

Loki watches her sleep, her fragile little form curled in the middle of his bed. Soft snore escaping her lips, face drained of all color.

“Do you know what it takes to lay by your side?” his voice soft and washing over her, “It takes everything.”

 

“Then give her everything.”

Loki snaps his head to the figure brave enough to enter his chamber. He expected one of his son’s, perhaps Thor or even his mother.

But not Odin to enter his room.

 

“And then what? I tried to give you everything once and you let me fall without even screaming my name.”

“My heart screamed for you.” the King tries to keep his voice calm, anger so easily picked out of him by his youngest son.

“You are not a good liar Odin.” Loki voice fights back, baring at the old King by not calling him his father.

“That is your talent, not mine. But do not think I did not feel pain when you chose to let go.”

Loki scoffs at him, “I chose? What choice did I have, stay and be punished for trying to do what you once strived to do before? Destroy Jotunheim. Is it not what Thor had tried to do as well? He would had been dead without me telling you.” anger rolls off his tongue towards the man he thought his father for over so many centuries.

 

Odin looks at his _not_ son, moving towards the bed and looking down at the mortal. His hand gently touching Darcy’s forehead. A soft light licked her skin and she moans in a manner that was more of comfort then pleasure as stares down at the mortal woman who has taken charge of his son’s heart.

“Never doubt I did not love you, Loki. You are my son no matter what you claim me to be.”

“I was your war prize.”

“You were my redemption.” Odin looks over to meet the trickster's eyes. “Do not make the same mistakes I made. Give her everything. Not just your war. Let her believe in you again.”

 

A blinding light envelopes the room as an old King tries to make right one last time with the son he failed to love so thoroughly.

 

 

* * *

 

Darcy wakes after what feels like a lifetime of sleep. Her hands move instinctively to her stomach and cries as she feels the swell still there. None of this was a nightmare but all very real.    

 

“Darcy.. “  a soft grunt of her name has her sitting up quickly as she finds the source lying on the floor next to her bed. _Her bed … her apartment … she’s home, back on Earth!_

Slowly the blue figure picks himself up and ruby eyes latch onto hers in pure fear. Royal blue skin laced with raised lines and it’s not till her eyes land on the cluster in the middle of his forehead _like Jars_ that she knows exactly who he is.

“Loki.”  tears fall harder and her body shakes.

Two black tusk protrude from his forehead, one broken near its base and a spiderweb scar stands out right below where his heart should lay.

His legs unfold completely and he is taller than she has ever seen him before. She knew he was not Asier, the same as Thor but never once did he ever show her or tell her of his true form.

Slowly he moves towards her, long blue fingers dance over her stomach and his eyes close. A small movement beneath her skin has him letting out a breath of relief.  But then something else happens. It almost feels like an electric shock rolling through her entire body, but from the inside out.

Blue lips twist into a crooked grin, “he gave you everything.”

“What do you mean your everything?”   

“My power.”

“Why?”

“Because it takes everything out of me to love you.”

“I don’t want your love anymore.”

“Thanos took me from you to collect a debt. He caught me when I fell before I landed here on your world.”

“Stop talking, nothing good comes from your mouth!” she moves from his hands but he crawls after her.

“Three weeks he dug around in my head, searching for the tesseract.”

“I don’t care …”

“I hid it from him, it wasn’t until he tore the tusk from my head and dug into my chest that he caught a glimpse of you.”

“ STOP … YOUR PAST MEANS NOTHING TO ME!”

“For seven days he burned into my head on repeat how his hands would rip you apart in front of me. You would scream for me and I would be frozen. You always screamed for me .. always my name … “

“GET OUT.” Darcy lets her voice peek in an almost growl but Loki doesn’t move. This time he will not back down from her and this time he will not fight back either with cruel words.

“Then I gave him what he wanted in exchange for you to be left untouched.”

“Liar… I will not be your pawn anymore .. “ tears fast steady down her face and when Loki pulls her up against chest she doesn’t fight it because she is just tired. “I can’t love you anymore…”

“There is nothing fair about the way I love you .. only that I would destroy a world in order to protect you. That will never change because even without my magic my love for you is my most powerful weapon.”

“I don’t want to be your weapon … your pain .. I wanted to be the reason you smiled but that will never be enough for you.“ her voice muffled against his chest.

“It is now .. let me prove it.”

“No.” and now it’s Loki who feels his heart crack open.

 

The blue prince pulls back from his little fragile human and without asking holds her face and brushes his lips against hers. Lips he hasn’t touched in so many months. So easy he licks into her mouth and gives her everything he has.

It’s soft and sweet, exploring her lips like the first time and he lets tears fall. Darcy can feel his body shaking but things click inside her inside, all of his hidden truths being pulled from him from the magic within her. And now he is clutching her in a tight grip as he lets her lips go … “please … do not let me fall again..not from you.”   

Darcy just looks at him and what she sees is the one thing she never thought she would see again - her Loki.

“You have to love me better.”

“Yes!”

 

**Fair Game. Is Not How He Loves. It's How He Kills.**

 


End file.
